


One of These Nights

by trippieseojoon



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippieseojoon/pseuds/trippieseojoon
Summary: Things always come full circle.
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is another recycled SNSD fics of mine.

“Maybe I’ll marry you someday.”

It takes a moment for those words to even process in Yoohyeon’s brain. With a furrowed brow of disbelief, she turns to look at Siyeon. Sitting right next to her, Siyeon isn’t acknowledging her gaze. Instead, she’s keeping her eyes on the lake not too far away from their feet. Surrounded by nothing but silence and the thin woods they’re in, there isn’t much else to focus on aside from each other. Siyeon having said such crazy words, Yoohyeon really can’t care less about the dark body of water in front of them.

“Maybe you’ll marry me someday…” she echoes in hopes of getting her attention. 

Siyeon just reaches into her hoodie pocket and pulls out the tired pack of cigarettes she always carries around. Yoohyeon just watches her fingers fumble to pull one out of it. The flick of her lighter dimly brightens the evening’s darkness. Wanting to hear something that makes more sense than Siyeon’s casual confession, preferably sometime soon, Yoohyeon asks, “What are you even talking about?”

“Exactly what I said.”

“Why?”

“If I marry you, then I won’t have to worry.”

Already done with Siyeon’s vague responses, she doesn’t hesitate to snap back, “Worry about what?”

“Worry about someone taking you away from me.” Siyeon brings her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them as she exhales straight smoke, “I mean, that’s why people get married, right? To be one another’s.”

“It’s not about… _owning_ people. People get married because they love each other.” Yoohyeon’s voice slightly lessens in volume as Siyeon’s head finally turns. Gazing at her, a smile abruptly takes her lips.

“So, let’s go then. Let’s get married.”

A smile taking Yoohyeon’s own lips, she gives Siyeon’s shoulder a hard shove before laughing some, “Stop.”

“I already love you. So, why not? Do you not love me?”

“I do.” she insists, having trouble making her smile go away.

Yoohyeon already feels small enough in Siyeon’s leather jacket and, under her gaze, she feels even smaller. Siyeon is always playful when it comes to showing her true feelings, but her eyes always reveal everything as they are. Yoohyeon knows just how much Siyeon cares for her when she gazes at her like this. Not only that, but it always makes her heart react the same way. It always makes her nerves a little bit worse than before.

“Well, fuck this.” Siyeon partially sings. Before Yoohyeon can even raise a brow, Siyeon is tossing her barely smoked light out towards the water. It doesn’t quite make it, but Yoohyeon doesn’t speak on it. She’s too distracted by Siyeon getting even closer. A hand brushes against Yoohyeon’s jaw, giving her no choice but to look at her, and the smell of smoke fills her nose. 

“If you don’t marry me, how am I gonna know you’re mine when you’re all the way in Busan? Hm?”

Siyeon is close enough to make the wires in Yoohyeon’s brain short out. Somehow, she manages to produce an actual response, “I’ll tell you everyday if I have to.”

“I’d like that.”

Breathing becomes impossible as Siyeon leans in more. Eyes falling shut, Yoohyeon’s heart follows as Siyeon kisses her. Butterflies take over every organ in her frame as their lips slowly meld together. She’s going to miss this. 

It's a short kiss that Yoohyeon doesn’t want to end. 

“I really don’t want you to go.”

“I know.” Yoohyeon solemnly mutters, bringing a hand up to tuck some of Siyeon’s black hair behind her ear.

While Yoohyeon can’t agree with her, she understands. Having gotten accepted into her dream university, of course Yoohyeon wants to go. However, she doesn’t want to leave Siyeon. In a couple of months, she’s going to get on a bus to Busan while Siyeon stays there in Seoul doing…

“Have you gotten your acceptance letter yet?” she asks, remembering that it should have come by now.

Siyeon lets her hand fall, palm running down Yoohyeon’s shoulder. Once she gets lower, she slides her hand under the leather jacket to caress Yoohyeon’s waist.

“No.” she says as she gets more comfortable and turns to completely face her, “I don’t think it’s coming.”

“You have a three point four G.P.A. I don’t see how you won’t get in. Your test scores were better than—”

“I didn’t apply.”

Yoohyeon’s eyes become wide at Siyeon’s confession.

“The deadline was too soon. I would’ve missed it anyway.”

“Siyeon…”

“I don’t even want to go to school.”

“But you need to.”

“I’ll figure it out.” Siyeon insists, “Don’t worry.”

“Well, I am. I will. So, now, you’ll have to live with that.”

Siyeon’s laugh makes Yoohyeon grin despite her concern. She shouldn’t really be surprised by Siyeon’s actions. She hates school. Before they’d started dating, Siyeon had rarely showed up inside of class at all. As smart as she is, it just isn’t really her thing. Kind of like how pop music and coffee aren’t her thing. 

Cats. That’s another thing Siyeon hates, and Yoohyeon can’t really explain why it makes her giggle.

“What?” Siyeon asks with a growing curve of her lips.

Yoohyeon’s small giggle turns into actual laughter, more at her own reaction than anything, “I was thinking about how you hate cats.”

“I’ve dated a lot of crazy chicks, but not your kind of crazy.”

Hiding her face in her hands out of embarrassment, Yoohyeon just mutters, “So, I’m special.”

“Yeah, I didn’t say I hated it… It’s one of the things I love about you.”

Yoohyeon peeks at her through her fingers. It’s impossible to overlook the gleam of mischief in Siyeon’s eyes. Before Yoohyeon can even comment on it, she gets distracted by her moving forward. 

“Yah!” Yoohyeon barks as she puts her hands out to stop Siyeon from pushing her on the ground. It’s no use. Siyeon is able to gently and effortlessly make her fall right onto her back in the grass they’ve been sitting in. Yoohyeon, with a contradicting and growing smile, groans as Siyeon gets on top of her. 

Satisfaction smeared all over her face, Siyeon speaks after successfully hovering over her, “Don’t _yah_ me.”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Making your face turn red.”

Yoohyeon lifts her arm to smack Siyeon’s shoulder before actually covering both of them with her hands, “Stop.”

“Just wait... You won't be telling me that once I start.” Siyeon teases with a low voice as she leans down to leave a kiss on her jaw. Warm lips start marking all over the area, making their move up towards her ear.

Despite Yoohyeon’s body and mind giving into her almost immediately, she can’t resist her automatic protesting, “Not here.”

“No one else even knows about this place… Don’t worry.”

“We’re outside.”

“So?” Siyeon breathes against her ear as she moves again. Straddling one of Yoohyeon’s thighs, she also moves one of her hands lower. Even over Yoohyeon’s clothes, Siyeon’s touch gets to her. Pulling at her shirt, when she feels Siyeon’s smooth palm run along her stomach, her whole body reacts to it. She wants to keep protesting, but that becomes impossible to do when Siyeon’s lips meet hers.

Knowing what Siyeon is going to do, and _how_ , warms Yoohyeon up easily.

The feeling is at a constant high with Siyeon on top of her. Siyeon has been her “first'' when it comes to just about everything, but being with her has never been intimidating. Despite Siyeon’s often rough appearance and tone, Yoohyeon has always felt as safe as she could be with her. She’s always felt loved, whether Siyeon was touching her or not.

It’s still that way, and Yoohyeon doesn’t think that will ever change.

Laying there in the grass with a hand down each other’s jeans is when the thought actually occurs to Yoohyeon that her feelings aren’t going to change. Not even being in a different city is going to make that happen. Things aren’t going to be different. They’re going to be harder, sure. But they aren’t going to change. Yoohyeon’s going to make sure of it.

When they both finish, sweaty and tired, Yoohyeon hopes that Siyeon can see it in her eyes as she pulls away from the lengthy kiss she leaves on her lips.

“I love you…”

A smile tugs at Siyeon’s lips before she utters back, “I love you, too.”

“Really?” Yoohyeon mumbles thoughtfully, “Then, maybe I’ll marry you someday.”


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s raining. Great.” 

Yoohyeon keeps grumbling to herself as she steps out of the office building. Heels hitting the cement with force, she hurries through the rain to her car. Using her briefcase to protect her recently colored hair, she yelps as it almost slips out of her hands. As soon as she gets to her car, she fishes for her keys. The curse that leaves her throat echoes as she drops them by accident.

Once she’s safely in her car, she just turns the heat up and relaxes. After spending several hours too long in the office, she’s too tired to even drive. It’s almost ten o’clock. Remembering the several missed calls she has, Yoohyeon uses the buttons on her steering wheel to call her girlfriend. The sound of her phone ringing flows through the speakers of the car. 

“I didn’t think about it until after I blew up your phone, but I should have figured you were working late. It’s Thursday.” Handong laughs, “Is it raining there too?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Are you coming straight here?”

“Yep. I’ll be sailing home soon.”

“Don’t anchor your ship in the driveway tonight. I have work in the morning.” Handong cutely explains, “Hurry home.”

“I love you.”

“You too, Yooh.”

After Handong chimes in a loud “Be safe!” before hanging up, Yoohyeon decides it's best to just get the drive home over with. Trying not to stray too far from her now relaxed state, she lets her favorite pianist play through her speakers. The music suits the weather quite nicely. What doesn't is her phone going off. She's driving through her neighborhood when that same unsaved number calls her again for the nth time that day. Handong hadn't been the only one blowing her phone up.

Whoever the stranger is, Yoohyeon ignores their call as fast as she can so her music can start playing again. She doesn't understand why they keep calling. If they don't leave a message, it's usually safe to assume that they're just people trying to sell something. Yoohyeon doesn’t understand what the sudden flow of telemarketers is about. If the number calls again, she's going to block it permanently.

The rest of her ride home is peaceful. She parks her car in the yard rather than in the driveway behind Handong’s. Sitting there with her car keys in hand, she has the urge to groan. The front door isn't _that_ far away, but the rain makes it an annoying trip nonetheless.

She doesn't move for a few minutes. In hopes of her amazing girlfriend coming outside with an umbrella, Yoohyeon waits. Knowing she's being silly, she eventually sucks it up. Her heels sink in the mud as she makes quick strides to the door. She gets her key ready and the door opens without her even putting it in the lock. She's surprised. However, it quickly fades as she takes in the sight of Handong. 

In her mismatched pajamas, she's donning a pair of rainboots. Not only that, but she has an open umbrella hanging from her hands. 

Getting safety from the rain suddenly becomes less important. Yoohyeon is too taken by Handong. A sheepish grin takes Yoohyeon's lips and she can't help but laugh. If only she'd waited a little longer.

Handong drags Yoohyeon inside, her briefcase-made-umbrella sending water all over once she takes it from over her head. Handong takes it from her hands and puts it aside. After closing the umbrella, she does the same to it as well. Yoohyeon's ready to explain what's so funny about their situation, but, instead of speaking, she just sighs as Handong gets close and wraps her arms around her. Her tight hug is just the warmth Yoohyeon needs.

“I thought I was gonna die of boredom.” Handong mumbles into her neck.

“Impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible.”

Yoohyeon nods her head, “There’s plenty. Holding your breath forever is impossible. Turning into a zombie is impossible. Going back in time is—”

Letting her go, Handong doesn't even look back as she goes into the living room, “Goodbye.”

Amused, Yoohyeon snickers and follows her. Handong is nowhere to be seen at first. Yoohyeon yelps in surprise as she’s suddenly attacked from the side. Being whipped around, Handong lightly pushes her so that her back is against the couch. In the darkness of the living room, her grin shines even more than it normally does. 

Hands take Yoohyeon's waist as she insists childishly, “That was unnecessary.”

“I had to trap you.”

“You—”

“You're mine all night tonight.” 

“Aren't I always yours?”

“You better be.”

Handong’s soft voice fills Yoohyeon’s veins with something a lot lighter than what is pumping through them. Handong isn’t wearing anything special. Her hair is in a messy ponytail. There's no makeup on her features. Yet, Yoohyeon can’t put her beauty into words. She never can.

Handong is close enough that their noses are brushing against one another’s. Her sweet breath makes Yoohyeon even more anxious for her kiss. Handong leaves a light kiss on her lips, taking her time. Yoohyeon's hands move to hold the back of the couch as Handong leans into her more. Their lips moving slowly together, it's easy for Yoohyeon to forget about everything except for Handong.

A knock on the door pulls Yoohyeon down from the clouds. Handong moves to kiss her on the cheek as she wonders aloud, “Who's that?”

“Don't ask me. I don't know.”

“That’s something else that's impossible.” Handong playfully mumbles, “You knowing everything… You wish.”

“Weren't you the one who said nothing is impossible? Don't doubt me.”

Handong’s grip on her waist gets tighter as she urges her to the side, “Go.”

Yoohyeon watches Handong make her way to go and sit on the couch before she finally leaves the living room. Wondering who in the world is stopping by so late, her mind starts coming up with the craziest of guests. Hoping it’s not someone like the guy from that horror movie she watched yesterday, Yoohyeon opens the door cautiously. It’s not someone like the guy from the movie, but Yoohyeon can’t be happy about it. She isn’t really capable of feeling or thinking anything as she takes in the person standing in her doorway.

“Hey.”

Soaking wet, all of the water dripping down Siyeon’s leather jacket is softly reflecting the light coming from the street. She takes a hand out of her pocket to push some of her blonde hair out of her face. Her faint smile becomes even more visible. Yoohyeon’s eyes can’t stay still. Bouncing all over Siyeon’s face, it’s hard to believe it’s actually her.

It’s almost as if she walked right out of a dream… or a nightmare. Yoohyeon isn’t sure. Despite looking older, her clothes look the same. In fact, Yoohyeon swears that the leather she’s wearing is the same she always wore back in high school. 

“Can... Can I come in?” Siyeon clears her throat, “It’s kind of cold out here.”

“What?”

“I—”

Handong singing loudly makes both of them freeze, “Yooh, who is it?”

In a quick second, Siyeon’s smile fades. A brow rises, and Yoohyeon doesn’t know how to respond to her or Handong. A shiver shaking Siyeon’s frame takes Yoohyeon out of her daze. Siyeon’s voice is lower this time, “Look, I walked like several blocks to get here, can I come in? Please?”

“Sure.” Yoohyeon forces the word from her mouth. Combat boots squeaking as Siyeon enters, Yoohyeon can’t even close the door before another voice makes her heart drop even more. 

“Hi.” Handong is polite but hesitant as she greets Siyeon. Yoohyeon turns to meet Handong’s confused gaze, “Who’s this?”

“It…” 

Not knowing what to say, Yoohyeon furrows her brow. Handong’s eyes are pooling with curiosity, and Yoohyeon can feel another pair of eyes on her as well. She’s almost thankful that Siyeon does what she does. Her eyes shift to watch Siyeon step forward.

She dries her hand the best she can on her jeans before extending it to Handong, “I’m Siyeon. Sorry, I know it’s late. I was in town and figured I’d stop by.”

“You’re an old friend? How long have you two known each other?”

“Since high school, but uh… It’s been awhile.” Siyeon mutters as if it’s something to sound casual about. 

The word is barely audible from Yoohyeon’s lips, “Yeah.” 

It’s been almost four years to be exact. Despite all of the thoughts and questions buzzing through Yoohyeon’s head, she’s more or less speechless. All she wants to do is ask “why?” Why is Siyeon here? She can’t ask with Handong standing right there. In fact, she feels like she can’t do anything with Handong in the room. That’s why her eyes keep flickering back and forth between Siyeon and the floor. 

Even though Siyeon suggests what’s exactly on her mind, when she says it, Yoohyeon’s stomach falls to the ground.

“I was hoping to catch up with her about some things… Yoohyeon? Can we talk alone for a minute?”

When Yoohyeon looks up, she notices two pairs of eyes on her again. Suddenly desperate to leave everyone’s gaze, Yoohyeon looks to her and nods before heading towards the dining room. She hears Siyeon’s boots hitting the floor a second later. Heading to the door to the patio out back, she just opens it and holds it for Siyeon, who has stopped in her tracks thanks to Handong.

“Do you like tea?” she asks with a smile, “I’ll fix some if you’d like.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Thanks.” Siyeon bows her head to her before looking at Yoohyeon, “Why are we going back outside?”

“There’s a cover.”

“Oh.”

Siyeon continues forward. Despite her having been standing out in the rain, she reeks of cigarettes. She still smokes. As she strides past her, Yoohyeon gets a nose full of it and also catches glimpse of Siyeon reaching in her jacket pocket. Siyeon heads straight to one of the chairs near the table. All of the lights Handong has hanging around are off, but they suddenly light up as Yoohyeon sits down across from Siyeon. Yoohyeon looks back to see Handong in the window, who gives her a wave before disappearing. 

Focusing on Siyeon, the rain hitting the patio cover drowns out the sound of her lighter as she flicks it. Smoke surrounds her and she sits back in her chair as their eyes meet.

“Is this your house or hers?” she wonders.

“It’s ours.”

Her eyes dart off elsewhere. A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips, “Nice.”

“Why are you here?”

Siyeon seems surprised by her straightforward tone. However, she doesn’t hesitate to answer.

“I came here to see how you were doing.”

“You couldn’t call?”

“I couldn’t call you for this.”

“For—?”

“I literally spent just about everything I had to come all the way out here… only to see all of this. I should feel more disappointed than I do.”

Yoohyeon doesn’t know how to respond. Siyeon’s tone and words have already given everything away and she doesn’t know what to think about it. 

“Do you wanna know why I’m here?” 

Hoping Siyeon will get the message, Yoohyeon just keeps quiet. She already knows why she’s here, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Siyeon’s said enough without actually explaining and Yoohyeon already doesn’t want to hear anymore.

She’s scared to. 

So, when Siyeon speaks up again, she becomes tense in her seat.

“This is gonna sound really fucking stupid, but it is what it is…” Siyeon takes a quick drag of her cigarette before sighing, “I went out drinking with a friend last week and we ended up going to some stupid fortune teller.”

“She ended up telling me a lot of stuff, and it… it really got to me. Most of it was probably just garbage, but she kept saying that I’ve been missing something. And when she first said it, the first thing I thought of was you.”

“So, here I am, because, apparently, if I don’t find this thing I’m missing, I’m going to live the way I have been forever. I would really rather _not_ do that…”

Yoohyeon asks with a hard gaze, “How have you been living?”

“Feeling pretty fucking stupid because I fucked up the only good thing I ever had in my life.”

Yoohyeon already regrets having asked, but she regrets it even more as Siyeon adds on with a smile, “But maybe that’s why I don’t feel as disappointed as I should. Because I came here to fix it. It—”

Shaking her head, Yoohyeon’s voice is barely there, “Who do you think you are?” 

Offended by Siyeon’s confidence, she’s sitting there in disbelief. Her mind is a blank page, yet words roll off her tongue effortlessly, fueled by nothing but emotion, “It’s been years and you think you can just come here and talk like this?”

“You still have a lot to say to me, huh.”

Siyeon’s cigarette close to the butt, she takes another drag of it before bending down. She puts it out on the cement of the patio before taking it and putting it back in her pack of cigarettes. 

“Of course I do.”

“Then, go ahead.”

“You don’t deserve to have me back at all. I don't— I don't _want_ you to have me back. Why would I still want to be with you?”

“You—” 

“It's been years. You don't think I've changed...? I have a life now, and you're not part of it. You never will be. You aren't supposed to be.”

“Who says?”

“I do.”

“If I wasn't supposed to be a part of your life, you would've never fallen for me the way you did… I wouldn't still think about you the way I do.”

“It doesn't matter what you were supposed to be. You ruined all of it.” 

Siyeon doesn’t seem to have a response for that. Her eyes lose the fire they’d grown, and she lets her head fall back to stare up at the patio cover. Having said the words and having all of the memories run through Yoohyeon’s mind makes feelings that she doesn’t want to acknowledge come to surface. It’s been forever. Yet, she feels just as hurt as if they’d broken up yesterday. 

She feels just as hurt seeing Siyeon in front of her now as she had back then. 

“I know I did.” Siyeon finally utters, lifting her head to gaze at her again.

“Then—”

Yoohyeon stops speaking as she hears the door open. Handong is all smiles as she comes over, two mugs in her hands. Siyeon sits up instantly and clears her throat as Handong puts one in front of her. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Yoohyeon lifts a brow as Handong gives her a mug. It doesn’t really look like tea. Before she can ask, Handong explains, standing behind her chair to wrap her arms around her neck.

“It’s hot chocolate.” she insists softly. 

As soon as Handong finishes her words, the sweet smell of the drink reaches Yoohyeon's nose. With a smile, she tilts her head back to thank her. A scoff takes the smile right off of her lips.

“Are you twelve?” Siyeon playfully asks. 

Playful or not, Yoohyeon isn't in the mood. How Siyeon is still able to act so casual, Yoohyeon has no idea. She really hasn’t changed at all. But Yoohyeon has. The smirk on Siyeon’s lips doesn’t do anything except make her irritated. There’s nothing funny. 

Yoohyeon doesn’t overlook Handong’s presence and stays silent. She can’t even think about speaking to Siyeon while she’s around. Handong actually laughs at Siyeon’s words, and Yoohyeon’s brow furrows.

“She’s really just a big kid.”

“Is she still scared of walking over those sewer grate things?”

For once, Handong’s teasing doesn’t lighten her mood. Not even her perfect giggle does, “Yes! She always walks around them whenever we go somewhere, even if we’re holding hands.”

Siyeon lets her hands rest on the back of her head as she laughs, and Yoohyeon can see that she’s reminiscing. She knows exactly what she’s thinking about, too. The night they’d gone downtown to see Eastern Sidekick’s show, she’d been forced to wait in line right on top of a sewer grate. Yoohyeon tries not to get lost in the memory of her constantly jumping on Siyeon’s back in fear of standing on the grate too long. 

That memory fades into another one, like how after the show that night, they’d stayed in the empty parking lot until sunrise kissing and talking about nonsense in the back of Siyeon’s car.

Yoohyeon feels sick thinking about it with Handong behind her. 

“Of course she does. She’s always been a wimp.” Siyeon jokes.

“So, you said you met in high school?”

“Yeah. We haven't talked since college.”

“Oh, wow. What are you in town for?”

Siyeon’s brow furrows for a quick second, “Well, I came out here because of some family stuff… Kind of found out I wasn’t really wanted. I’ve known Yoohyeon for a long time and I came hoping I could get some help. I was just about to mention it to her.”

Yoohyeon’s jaw is tense. She’s in complete disbelief over Siyeon’s effortless lie. Handong buys it without hesitation, and Yoohyeon can’t even bring herself to speak.

“Family issues? What happened? I’m sure we can help in some way.” 

“I don’t have anywhere to stay and I’m…” Siyeon laughs, “I’m broke as fuck. I couldn’t even get a motel room right now.”

“You can stay with us for tonight, even a couple of days if you need, right, Yoohyeon?”

“I'll be back.”

Feeling a type of anger she isn't used to, Yoohyeon hastily gets up and heads inside. She can't believe the situation. Siyeon can't stay with them. Siyeon _shouldn't_ stay with them. Not only that, but Siyeon shouldn't be causing her this much of a dilemma either. Hiding away in the kitchen, Yoohyeon realizes that she’s overreacting. Siyeon shouldn't be getting to her this much.

Why she's here shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yoohyeon repeats that to herself mentally as she makes her way back outside.

“Sorry.” she responds to the confused gazes she's receiving, “I wanted to make sure we had enough blankets to spare.”

Her words surprise Siyeon, but she stays quiet.

“I was just telling her about the dog.” Handong explains before focusing back on Siyeon, “He's in our room sleeping right now. He's been on medication because he just got neutered and stuff. All he does is sleep, so he shouldn't bother you too much.”

She snickers before adding, “If you ever hear him whining though, it's probably because his cone got caught on something and he's stuck. He hasn't gotten used to it yet.”

“Poor thing.” Siyeon mutters, eyes not leaving Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon wants to ignore her gaze, but she can't. She keeps a blank countenance. She's not going to give Siyeon anymore satisfaction. 

“How long are you going to need to stay?” 

“I can get a bud of mine to wire me some cash tomorrow so I can get a bus ticket back home to Seoul.”

“Did you not bring any stuff?” Handong asks before Yoohyeon can respond.

Siyeon’s bitter-sprinkled tone doesn't go past Yoohyeon, “I didn't think I'd need much.”

“Feel free to use anything here tonight or in the morning. Really, you don't need to worry about it. I’m sure Yoohyeon is glad to be able to spend a night with a friend. She doesn’t really get out much.”

“Thanks. I'm really grateful.”

“I'll… I’ll go fix up the living room some.”

Yoohyeon, flustered due to all of the emotions pumping through her veins, makes her escape again. She isn't sure if it's her gaze or Siyeon's that lingers as she turns around to go back inside.


	3. Chapter 3

“Yeah, I can't believe he… Handong?”

“Huh? Sorry, I'm listening.”

Yoohyeon can't put her finger on it. Maybe it's just the weather. With spring showers comes humidity, and she knows that Handong loathes it. That's why they've decided to stay in tonight. Even though they've been enjoying their dinner together, something doesn't feel right. Handong's been acting odd all day today. 

Watching her play with her engagement ring, Yoohyeon finally decides to speak up on it.

“Are you okay?”

Handong's eyes flicker up to her, “Yeah. Why?”

“You seem out of it today. What time did you finally come to bed?”

“Later than I should have.”

“You're turning into me.” Yoohyeon sits back in her chair with a playful smirk, “Gross.”

There's an abnormal silence that takes place between them. Yoohyeon's brow furrows. She's about to question Handong again, but then she suddenly speaks up.

“Yoohyeon, I need you to answer something for me.”

She makes a noise of curiosity. Handong's eyes stay on the dining table and something about her aura makes Yoohyeon nervous. She doesn't really know what to think, as Handong's blank expression says nothing. Her words only confuse her even more.

“You know I love you. I love you more than anything, and I meant ‘yes’ with every part of my mind and body when you asked me to marry you. I really want this.” Handong softly spoke, unable to stop fiddling with her ring, “But I need you to be honest with me about something.” 

Yoohyeon's heart is in her ears. Her worst nightmare is coming to life. Ever since she'd proposed last month, she's been worried about Handong having second thoughts. She can't blame anything but her silly insecurities. However, they aren't seeming so silly anymore. Handong's tone is making her wary.

Her next words make Yoohyeon ill to her stomach.

“Do you remember when that friend of yours came to stay with us? Siyeon?” 

“Of course.” Yoohyeon forces her mouth to move, “What about it?”

Handong doesn't have to ask or say anything else. As their eyes meet, Yoohyeon already knows where this is going. She knows that Handong knows. Somehow, she knows, and Yoohyeon's mind starts racing. Her jaw tenses as Handong asks her.

“I… I'm going to still love you no matter what. So, just be honest with me. Did you cheat on me with her while she was here?” 

“Yes.”

It's weight lifted off of Yoohyeon's shoulders, but that's not why she doesn't hesitate to answer. She knows there's no point in lying or making up an excuse. It's obvious Handong already knows the truth. The tears now in her eyes only reaffirm it and Yoohyeon suddenly has a tight throat. She knows she's just made whatever hurt Handong had been feeling even worse. 

“She told me.” her voice is barely audible as she confesses.

“What?”

“She told me that morning before she left and she said you didn't want to do it. She said you stopped her.”

Even though it’s the truth, Yoohyeon doesn’t feel like it is. Her reluctance that night has never made her feel innocent. She isn't innocent. 

“I…”

“Was she telling the truth?”

Yoohyeon could only nod.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Handong—”

She cuts her off with a voice sharper than before, “I'm  _ not  _ going to be able to marry you until we work this out. I'm not.” 

Yoohyeon thinks about it almost every night, but thinking about that night now hurts more than it ever has before.

“We… I went out and drank with her in the living room after you went to bed—”

Handong's voice cuts through her chest like a knife, “Don't blame alcohol for what you did.” 

“I'm not. I… I'm not. But we got drunk and it was dumb. I shouldn't have even gone out there with her.”

“You guys were talking the entire time behind my back, weren't you?” 

“It wasn't like that.” she shakes her head and sincerely repeats herself, “It wasn't—”

“Then, what was it?”

Yoohyeon just stays quiet. Handong’s anger is slowly bubbling to the surface, and she isn't sure what to do about it. She deserves all of it. The fact that Handong has known for so long but has kept it to herself makes Yoohyeon wary. She keeps her gaze low.

“I don't know… I wasn't meaning to go behind your back.” 

“So, what? You guys got drunk. Okay. Then, what?” 

“We were just talking about high school… and she— I— I told her that I still had feelings for her and that… that I wish they didn't matter.” 

Handong mutters, “She wasn’t just some friend, was she?”

She shakes her head, eyes starting to burn. 

“What next?”

“Handong—”

“Come on, I wanna hear.”

The mere  _ feeling  _ of Handong’s hurt and angry eyes on her makes it impossible to keep some of her tears from escaping.

“She kissed me.” 

“And you didn't stop her until she was trying to get into your pants.”

Her answer was barely audible, “Yeah.”

Handong sits back in her chair, voice wavering as she wonders, “Were you ever gonna tell me?”

“I— I don't know.”

“You and her are really similar, aren't you? She didn't tell  _ you _ , either.”

“What?”

“When she cheated on you, she didn't tell you. That's what she told me anyway. You found out from a friend back in Seoul.”

Yoohyeon glares up at her due to her attempts to be hurtful. They’re working, but Yoohyeon can't call her out for it. It’s all well-deserved. Once a quiet cry escapes Handong's lips, she realizes that she prefers her angry over her being upset. She is wiping away tears as she manages to ask, “I guess things come full circle, huh?”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know you are… I know.” Handong holds her gaze as she questions her with a shaky voice, “Did you ask me to marry you out of guilt? I wanna know now… and think before you answer.”

Yoohyeon doesn't even let the silence last for a second, “No. I— Of course I didn't. I messed up, but that doesn't mean my feelings for you weren't there. I love you. I always have.” 

“I believe you. I needed to hear this from you is all.”

The air around them has changed. Unsure of what to say, Yoohyeon just watches Handong pull herself together. 

“Part of me wishes you lied just now.”

Her pathetic attempt to laugh doesn’t make Yoohyeon feel any better at all, not like she deserves to. Handong languidly gets up from the table and starts to make her way out of the kitchen. She stops at the doorway before turning around, regaining her composure before speaking.

“I don't want you to sleep with me tonight… You don't know how hard it's been sharing a bed with you because of what you did.” 

Yoohyeon can barely bring herself to ask, “Do— Do you even still want me in the house?”

“I can't kick you out, not even if I wanted to. I'm not that kind of person.” 

Her disappointed gaze burns holes into Yoohyeon's heart and it continues to hurt long after Handong leaves her alone in the kitchen. 


End file.
